Do you believe there is such a thing as a work-life-balance? For years it is something I strove for, that place in the middle where I had plenty of time to be home with my family and enough time for all things business. Ten years of being a business owner I am a strong believer that it’s a fabricated concept someone really influential must have made up so we could all try to be just like them. Maybe I’m wrong, honestly, I pray that I am wrong…but I really don’t think I am.
This morning I woke up feeling so much anxiety, my chest felt heavy and I spent some time thinking about what it is.
I have a GREAT life.
I own my own business, doing exactly what I was meant to do and love doing. I’m able to work when I want and with who I want (that’s a new thing…I used to think every client was my client but that’s simply not the truth), I have curated the most welcoming space for not only all women and all bodies, but also for myself. I have a space that doesn’t allow judgement - so when I try something crazy and fail who cares!
I have the most beautiful relationships with the most wonderful people. I have a safe home, a car that gets me from point A to B, no debt, a savings account and so much more. (This wasn’t the story a few years ago, then…I was trying to figure out how to claim bankruptcy but thankfully those days are in the past!)
I have an abundance of things I am grateful for. A positive outlook on life (most days) and a heart so big that sees so much good in the world.
BUT if my life is so great, why am I sitting here writing about anxiety over a work-life-balance?
Because I feel GUILTY!
I feel guilty that I am folding laundry and not editing a client.
I feel guilty that I made pesto yesterday instead of answering emails.
I feel guilty that I stay up late editing and don’t get to snuggle before bed with the love of my life.
I feel guilty that I spend money instead of saving it.
I feel guilty that I go to the beach and my clients are waiting on their photos.
I feel guilty that I forget to answer clients DMs back because I got busy doing another task.
I feel guilty that I don’t eat healthy all the time because some weeks are just too busy to meal prep.
I COULD go on but I won’t.
Instead, I am going to forget the idea of balance today and just do what needs to be done, because life goes on with or without me and what gets checked off my to-do list is up to me!